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When your boss has complaint about you to his manager, and you only defend yourself?

Category: Other

BeantBeant


In meeting with his manager, without blaming the your boss, is this positive or negative?

I had meeting with my boss's manager to discuss some career concerns, and we also discussed an ongoing conflict between myself and my manager.

I put it down to conflicting personalities and highlighted below:

- That, I am competent worker, a very well-respected colleague is appreciative of my work

- said that I don't mean to complain

- that all my work in the last 2 years is of high standards

- that my boss and i have personality conflict and we had a row long time ago and that's why he undermines me.

- also, said that my boss is not bad and is quite hard-working.

what do you think, does this make me look weak? I did have some negatives that I could raise about my boss, but, I didn't want to.

I want to end the conflict. do you think I did the right thing?

Crystal
Crystal

No, I'm sorry but I cannot see anything that you have said apart from you don't like the guy.

If you wish to make a complaint about a manager you need to have facts, times, details of things they have done.

For example, how can he undermine you? You are not his boss.

Is he bullying you? Then you can make a formal complaint using the process given to you in your handbook.

Is he saying lies about your work? Then get other members of staff to go with you to back you up in a grievance against your boss.

The personality conflict you describe sounds like you just don't want to take orders from this guy, if I am right then you are in the wrong job.

Either quit and work for yourself, or try for a managers position yourself.

I have known some really bad managers, but none of them can get away with breaking the rules because they dislike someone. If they want to sack you they have to have a good reason.

Things that you should not have said:

'I don't mean to complain' - this made you sound like you were in the wrong. If you had been wronged you have every right to complain - in the way shown to you in your handbook.

'A colleague is appreciative of my work' - so what? He's not your boss, he's a colleague - that means nothing, he's an employee like you not a manager, you don't work for him. If he's that respected by Management he'd be a Manager.

'That my work in the last 2 years is of high standards' - ok but what happened since then? Did this guy start and your work went downhill? That may support your case if you can prove that - and also prove that everyone else's work has also gone down hill.

'He undermines me' - spoken like a true Manager - oops your not though are you.

Then to top it all off you say 'my boss is not bad and is quite hard working' - shoot yourself in the foot why don't you - you just said 'forget everything, I lied, the guy is wonderful'.

What to do now? Well if you can't write down proper grievances and go through the proper channel with them you have just moaned about your boss in defence for you being rubbish at work. That looks pretty stupid I've seen this many times.

So, the other thing to do to keep your job would be to apologise to your boss in the company of his boss, admit to being a jerk and ask - no beg for a chance to prove that you can work hard.

Good luck (and start applying for a different job).

Blah
Blah

Well, there's only so much you can do. I think you did your best. Some workplaces are dog eat dog worlds, where people advance by killing others. Maybe you should take out your boss so you can take his position.

Cala
Cala

I think it's very negative!

Not only that but "not bad" and "quite hard working" are actually implied criticisms: not bad implies that he's not good either, and quite hard working implies that he isn't very hard working.

You shouldn't have said that you "complain".

It wansn't a good move to say that you have a long-term issue with your Boss. If you and he can't work together then one of you may have to go.

If you have an issue with him undermining you then you need to show proof. If you have no proof then don't say it.


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