I started LPN school in the beginning of January. A month later they had us in clinicals. I did always felt like I was messing up because I just didn't know ANYTHING!! My clinical grades were all good. I had some trouble with the instructor because my first week when I palpated my patients stomach I felt something below her belly button which I did not know what it was. I asked the instructor about it. After discussing the patient and the appearance and feel of the abd the instructor told me it was probably scar tissue and nothing to worry about. (The instructor never looked at it) It turned out it was a severe impaction. I was penalized for not catching this.(I understand the seriousness of the issue but we had not learned of that at that time we were only learning how to do vital sigsn!!!) At my end of the semester conference with the instructor she told me I was going to kill someone!!! I did very well all semester! I asked her why and she just kind of shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. I asked if I can do something different or if I should quit and she again shook her head and shrugged her shoulders! Then she told me I had the potential to be a great nurse. So I am baffled.

Now, we are in our second semester we have finished pharmacology and are starting on the focus of the systems. Graduation is in November. I am in a new clinical rotation with a new instructor. This instructor has a terrible thing of making us feel so stupid when we don't know something or ask a question. I dread asking any question and try to look it up or go to the nurses first if i can. She penalizes us for any mistake we make. Even if it is a mistake we are expected to make. For example I was changing a foley bag and i didn't pinch the tubing enough. She told me my critical thinking skills are under developed bc I didn't pinch it off better. To me that was a mistake once the urine leaked out I would have known better from the last time.

I am not making terrible horrible mistakes. Just dumb little things (like pinching the tube) and it isn't all of the time. I just don't quite know what to do. I use to love going to clinicals but lately I dread it because I know I am going to be made feel like an idoit.

It isn't that I don't know what I am doing. I have excellent grades. We are tested every so often on our critically thinking. I have had the highest grade of the class every time. Even the director of the program was impressed. We are also tested every few months for the nclex for preparation. I always get the highest level for that as well. What is my issue? Should I quit? What if I don't get that love and enjoyment back out of it as I had before? (I lost it when I was told I was going to kill someone. It scared the crap out of me!)